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Underneath Scum Light

by Hummin' Bird

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    Black Site, Kansas City, MO
    black-site.org
    BS-20

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1.
you said, "if you look real hard, you can see the way the river bends" if it feels too good to be true we’ve learned that it probably is how many times did you explain away the cuts on yr wrists as drunken mistakes? could you give me something to outgrow? i guess i should take the long way home what does anyone have left here? my family is split between fucked up coping mechanisms and a fear of crossing the street but my heart is my own i sit on this throne that i made of flower and bone
2.
a cave that i stumbled into this house that i call my own a vessel overflowing but i can’t make it out alone never speak what lies inside all the voices that you try to hide all the songs that i sang with you all lined up in the queue it’s gonna be a bad night out there waiting with yr tongue on the dial both still playing our game of denial stole three candy bars and bought a pack of smokes so happy you could see straight almost
3.
maybe i’d be a sharp gray stone falling into water below letting time turn me smooth yeah i think that’s what i wanna do i wish that we were worn down by what we feel i wish my anger could be turned to something real maybe i’d be a sick ass race car i’d smash against the wall that took Dale Earnhardt goin’ on 169 feelin’ fuckin’ alive for the first time
4.
i have been waiting patiently, like a tumor hoping to clear the room or find my tomb there will come a day when the rain will be enough to flood every fresh grave some hunger worth sating and it seeps up through the sewer flighty feelings fewer bane or boon and these skulls of indeterminate origin will get to find out what they’re worth again here’s to our years being young! here’s to the blood spilling on our tongues! may it dull our senses well for what’s to come! here’s to the vows that we broke! here’s to the hands wrapped around my throat! here’s to our fresh sins our bitter medicine we hope you choke
5.
packin’ up again trying to let this one sink in all the calculated movements that i try to pass off as my own prepare a feast for me set out before my enemies so many friends i will remember with no names but i can love them all the same i remember it like it were a dream wake up with eyes glistening lost and gone forever you probably shouldn’t be driving lost and gone forever you probably shouldn’t even talk to me
6.
it’s gotten completely out of hand can’t tell anybody or even understand it feels like everything i ever say ends up sounding like a formulated phrase each puzzle piece i place i find the whole in more disarray grabbing each overturned piece the big picture is lost to me it doesn’t matter what you ever do we will always pick ourselves over you i’m trying to pick myself back up i’m dying to prove that i don’t suck
7.
to me it seems obscene all the weed and the cheap whiskey (and so much more caffeine) that i drink and think why can’t i fall asleep? and if i dream great unseen cosmic failure surrounds me so i’m not going home these cowboy kids become cowboy presidents and i’ll admit that we played our part in it we used to sleep all day stay inside and watch the paint dry it never felt like it was wasted time in the whites of yr daydreaming eyes won’t let myself get lost this time the receiver’s blown but there’s no way that i’m going home
8.
scattered like a starry night my "anything’s" running through that empty hall that emptiness brings bunched up in that old down teal green and grinning the hands i’ve always loved the room would not stop spinning you can’t make the same mistake twice but i can
9.
go for a run in the old clothes that ya got me i try to be better at the things i love doing it’s cool if you don’t wanna say goodbye tell me good luck and i grab the keys and drive from years wrapped up in you what the fuck am i gonna do sit down and calm down read a book my friend lent me get lost in some old fantasies everyone we knew’s in love now it makes me so happy when we were around back then i miss the old me

credits

released December 31, 2022

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Duane Trower at Weights and Measures Soundlab, Kansas City, MO May - June '21
Mastered for vinyl by Chris Muth, Taloowa Corp., Ossining, NY
Art n Stuff by Everett Gee

Dedicated to the Byrd Man

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Hummin' Bird Tulsa, Oklahoma

Coming from a small storage space in Tulsa OK, Hummin' Bird gives you twangy punk rock fueled by cheap beer and truck stop food. Breaded and crucifried with welts from the bible belt, they’d rather slam Busch heavies in some rank basement on the road than stagnate in the oppressive heat of familiarity where “bless your heart” doesn’t really mean what you think. ... more

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